That’s my advice for today. Fall in love with someone you can be morbid AND weird with. Take my husband and I. We would gladly lay our lives down for each other, and are truly, madly, deeply, in love (I don’t doubt this-he talks in his sleep and tells me that ALL THE TIME) so when we joke about morbid things, its just that-joking.
For example, this is a conversation that we had today via text about him getting his driver’s license renewed because his birthday was yesterday and its now expired:
Him: I can’t wait until July 1st for the appointment, I’ll just go in the morning really early. I don’t want to be in a situation with no license.
Me: I get it, I don’t want you without one either. Okie Dokie.
Him: You know, in case I get arrested.
Me: For what??? I KNEW IT! You want to kill meeeeeeeee!
Him: No! Wait, where did that come from? I was just saying for practical purposes
Me: Because you’re currently not able to drive because of your knee, and you’re not out thieving, so that left getting arrested for murder.
Him: You want to see me die!
Him: Hating my face!!
Me: Love your face!!! You’re distracting me from the fact that you’re planning my demise.
Him: No, you want me to wait till the end of the month to make the appointment because you want time to arrange for the test car to kill me
Me: You want to wait till the end of the month so that you can run me over in the car and then use your lack of license as an alibi
Him: I don’t know what that means. That makes no sense whatsoever
Me: Sure it does. How can you be driving a car with an expired license? Built-in alibi: “Officer, I couldn’t have been behind the wheel, my license is expired!”
He didn’t answer me after that. I can only assume he went back to change his plans since I figured him out. Or he’s just playing video games.
* really ya’ll, we’re just playing. I swear.